Healing emotions is all about releasing and repressed energies and healing our core wounds. In the process, we need to access and connect to our Emotional Body.
I believe that feelings create our lives. Some people may think that our thoughts create our lives, but when I think about it, I've made most of the major decisions in my life based on how I feel, not what I think I should be doing. How we feel about things and people is who we are.
And yet, we are in the emotional dark age, we are not allowed to fully feel and express our true feelings. We often control, repress, ignore and bottle up our feelings. We are so used to doing it that we don’t know our true feelings and emotions and we don’t even pay much attention to it.
If this is true to you, welcome to the club!
I realized that I couldn't feel my pain when I first started emotional healing. It took me years before I finally could. The pain was so deeply buried that I wasn't even aware of it, and yet, it's been there and affecting my entire life in a subtle and obvious way.
So I had to start from there. I chose to own that I don't want to feel. If you are like me, not wanting to feel, this is where you could start too.
We start repressing emotions, even before the age of 3. We had learnt that it is not safe to express our true self to unconscious humanity by then, and ego kicked in to repress our needs and emotions to protect us from feeling pain.
Ego’s primary function is to defend us from feeling pain. Repressed emotions, however, will never just disappear.
They got stuck in our physical body until we release and heal them. Please read Energy Healing for more detail.
One good way to release repressed emotions is EFT (Emotion Freedom Technique). Please click the link if you want to know more about it.
When the reservoir of repressed emotions (Eckhart Tolle called it ‘Pain Body’) is triggered, we start reacting to the situation rather than responding to it. And by doing this, we are using the same old reacting patterns that we learnt as kids.
Our lives keep sending us triggers until we completely release what’s left within us and complete the spiritual healing.
Many of us wonder why all the non-senses keep happening to us. Well, they happen for us in this regard.
Emotional healing is the same as healing our inner children. It's plural as there are not only one child (emotion) inside us but there are many:
They are still there in the old timeline where we repressed our needs and emotions. And they would still be there until finally, someone comes to embrace and send them genuine compassion. In other words, to Be Present with them.
We all have unfulfilled emotional needs that were never met from our childhood.
The most common ones are:
When we’re not fully aware of them, we start projecting them onto the outside world, especially onto our partners, and we keep doing so till our needs are fulfilled and healed.
But the great irony is that no one else can fulfill and heal our needs, only we can.
To have a healthy relationship, we must reclaim our projections. At some point, we all must confront our own pain.
So, how do we know what needs we’re still suppressing?
The best way is to pay close attention to how we react to certain situations or people emotionally.
For example, when someone you know didn't say ”hello” to you, how do you feel? Do you feel hurt more or less? Or do you immediately conclude that he/she doesn’t care?
I will talk about this in detail in Mind Healing, but instead of shutting yourself off in avoidance, feel and express.
The pain of unfulfilled needs often manifests in forms of addiction.
Drugs, alcohols, sex, gambling, shopping, benign eating, etc.
When you are trying to cut off your addiction(s), it's important that you shine your consciousness on the root cause(s), if not, nothing would work. Addictions are symptoms of core wounds. And without healing them, nothing would change.
I was a rather heavy nicotine addict for about 20 years. I realized that I used smoking to avoid feeling the emptiness I have within. In my case, the root cause of the addiction was the emptiness created in me based on fear of being abandoned and being alone.
These are my core wounds. The wounds that my soul is carrying. They were so deeply buried in my subconscious that they were not obvious to my conscious mind.
And again, the only way to dissolve and heal is to feel. And endure the emptiness and fear.
Sounds not so exciting, does it?
I know, it’s easier said than done, so take it easy. Emotional healing takes time.
We got nowhere by rushing. It’s the best if you can find someone who can assist you in this process. Check around counselors and healers nearby or even online. We don’t have to do this alone.
For those who simply cannot feel...like me, here is a tip.
Simply acknowledge, accept and own the fact that you don’t feel or you don’t want to feel.
Take a few mindful breaths and say this out loud:
I don’t want to feel my feelings because… (complete the sentence)
Repeat this a few times and see what happens. If nothing happens, it's ok. Accept and leave it for now. It will come when you’re ready for all this. How do you know if this is the right thing? Because that is what's happening in Prensent moment.
Present moment is always the only thing that exists.
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