Integration of Inner Child and Adult

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What is Inner Child?

‘Inner Child’ is a term often used in psychology and spirituality. It refers to a childlike archetype or persona inside us. It may not be only one, but there may be many.

They are suppressed emotions and personal traits or aspects that haven’t been accepted by parents or caretakers  during childhood.

The child(ren) stay in the old time-line where the time has stopped for them. That means parts of us remain a child,  and they will remain so until they are healed.

I wrote about how to heal them in ‘Emotional Healing’, so please read it if you want to know more about it.

Also, please read the related article below:

I'd like to focus more on the integration of child and adult aspects within us in this article.

Understanding the Mechanism

We all know how painful it is to get rejected by others for being who we are. That is what happened to the child within us.

The fact is that there was nothing wrong with us. We were perfect as we were. But every time we got rejected by our parents or caretakers, we received messages that we were not Ok the way we were.

The feeling was too painful to bear, so our Ego kicked in to suppress the pain. And at this point, we were split into two parts:

  • conscious part
  • unconscious part

We started to suppress anything about ourselves that we thought was unacceptable into our subconscious mind.These aspects are called our ‘shadow-selves’. They are often combined with suppressed emotions.

For instance, if showing sadness means weak in your family,  you’ve probably learnt not to show or even feel sadness. And as a result, you try to be strong and positive all the time; you  dislike people who are vulnerable to their feelings and you might criticize them for being negative.

This is a basic mechanism of wounded self and projection. We project every aspect that we refused to own ourselves onto other people in the outside world.

Integrating Child and Adult

While proceeding with emotional healing, we need to learn how to parent our own child within.

There are two parts inside us:

  • inner child (wounded emotions)
  • inner adult (higher mind)

We need to use our higher mind to send unconditional love and compassion to the child.

When we cognitively understand that a part of us need more caring and love, the child inside also feels it.

  • No denial
  • No blame
  • No judgement
  • No Critics

Just Be Present with it.

When the child feels it, it starts growing. It is as if this part of us tries to catch up with the rest. This is the integration of inner child and adult.

Adding Wonder Child Quality

When the integration happens, we become more whole as a person, and our child will become a wonder child.

A wonder child is a child that is curious and has a basic confidence in the world. It feels that it can do anything.

This is our true potential. When we are free from our past and future, we start living in the present moment. That is when anything will become possible.

I would like to share this quote from Marianne Williamson:

“There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.” 

By Marianne Williamson

If you want a deeper knowledge on inner child healing and integration, I recommend you read 'Completion Process' by Teal Swan. You can read my review from here.

Related Articles:

Home > Core Wound: Discover and Heal to Return to Wholeness > Integration of Inner Child and Adult

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An energy worker who's been practicing spiritual healing. To read more about the author, please click here. If you want to contact the author, please click here.

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