4 Steps to Using Projection to Heal

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I talk about projection a lot on this site. It is a term they use in psychology or spirituality to explain how human unconsciously see our own selves in others.

We all started suppressing parts of ourselves even before age 3. They are aspects that were not accepted by our care takers. That is when we split ourselves into two parts, conscious and subconscious mind. The aspects that we suppressed are called our shadow-selves.

When we still have considerable amount of shadow-selves, we start projecting them on to the outside world. Both positive and negative.

If you are new to this concept, I recommend Loving What Is by Bryon Kaite, it's probably one of the best books that explains projection.

It is not necessarily a bad thing as we can use it to know what still needs to be healed inside us. 

If we don't know how and what we are feeling and why, that means we don't know who we are. Everything is happening to take us to our higher version of ourselves. So, take this opportunity to heal.

The primary way to heal is to own and feel.

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Acknowledge and Own

For the past few days I was feeling this energy emerging from within and I knew that it was the energy of jealousy :-)

There was someone who I am very fond of. When I saw this person talking to someone else rather closely, I would feel a bit jealous.

It's obvious that I am projecting my Higher-Self onto this person. And the irony is that I will not know this person for who he is until I reclaim my positive projection. Then, I project my wounded-self onto other people, this indicates that there are still some parts in me that need love and caring. 

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So, How Can We Use Projection to Heal?

Now I would like to lay out how we can use them to heal ourselves in 4 steps:

  • Integration of Self
  • Releasing Repressed Emotions (Inner-Child Healing)
  • Dissolving Limitations
  • Accept and Own True Desire

Step 1 : Reclaim and Own to Integrate

Take a closer look at my positive projections. What I am seeing in this person are my true potentials:

  • Integrity
  • Honesty
  • Opneness
  • Bravery
  • Kindness and compassion
  • Love
  • Empathy
  • Friendliness
  • Trust Worthiness

If I see these qualities in this person, that means they are my traits as we only see what we have inside. I know that for many of us this is kind of hard to believe. But it's true.

So, what I need to do at this stage is to reclaim and own these aspects as mine to integrate my inner-self. They belong to me and I own them. One step closer to wholeness.

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Step 2 : Feel the Inner-Child's Pain

Then, take a closer look at negative emotional signature when I feel jealous:

  • Jealousy
  • Misery
  • Sadness and hurt

I felt these emotions when I saw this person talking to others, because there are still part of me not healed.

I can say that they are my inner-child. I needed feel the child's pain. It was too much for her to bear back then. Now I am back to feel it for her.

And have a dialogue with the child and ask what it wants to say and need. And this is what it needed in the first place, to have someone to be Present with it. Just listen to it without trying to reason with or change it.

When this is done, the inner-child will relax and be integrated.

Please read Emotional Healing for more detail for how you can heal inner-child.

Step 3 : Dissolving Limiting Believes

and...now dive even deeper to see what are the limiting believes I still have in my subconscious mind that creates these emotions that are found in step 2.

  • I am not good enough
  • I am not lovable
  • No one loves me
  • I am not worthy
  • I am excluded

The negative emotions were created based on these limiting believes. 

To know what limiting believes we still have, we need to have a dialogue with our inner-child. With true compassion and love. The moment the child detects any forms of judgement, criticism or blame, it will shut off. Just try to be Present with it.  And we will learn what painful limiting believe it still believes.

Usually limiting believes are the ones that feel heavy and constraining.

They were created in our up-bringing. Many (or most) of them are outdated and have stopped serving us long time ago. Now they need to be re-evaluated and go.

Step 4 : Accept and Own True Desire

When we are feeling jealous or wanting to criticize someone, there must be true desire suppressed.

Take a close look at your feelings and see what true desire you are suppressing.

In my case, I was feeling jealous when this person is talking to someone else closely. I realized there are many non-sense going on in my mind, such as...well, better not say.. :-)

But my true desire was; I want to talk to this person closely, too.

Or better still; I want to feel closer to this person.

It is important that I acknowledge and own my true desire. And if it is appropriate, express in certain ways. If this person can grant my desire or not is irrelevant. Crucial point is that I know what I want.

True intimacy is cultivated when we are honest and open to ourselves, to our true needs. And we must do our best to fulfill our needs. That is the shortest way to happiness.

When you go through these steps, it is already liberating huge part of subconscious mind. All these steps are the healing process themselves.

Changing Perspective

When we start using it to heal ourselves it changes our entire perspective. There will be more space and room, or maybe I should say a gap between real us and our mind, and we will have more clarity.

We can use every opportunity to heal ourselves and life. The choice is ours.

It's not someone or something else that bind us, it's our own fears within.  Change your perspective to change the world you see.

The more integrated we become, the more whole our world will be. This world reflects our inner world. So, if you are seeing a lot of splits in the external world, there are still a lot of parts inside you that need to be integrated.

If you want, then start to laugh, If you must, then start to cry, Be yourself don't hide, Just believe in destiny,  Don't care what people say, Just follow your own way, Don't give up and use the chance, To return to innocence.


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Reiki Master Teacher who's been practicing spiritual healing. To read more about the author, please click here. If you want to contact the author, please click here.

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